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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24565678">you're so pretty (oh, i want to be pretty)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/gay_thot_writing/pseuds/gay_thot_writing'>gay_thot_writing</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>archives shuffle [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Magnus Archives (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Archivist Sasha James, Character Study, Everyone loves Martin, Kinda, M/M, in which i overuse the phrase "this is how it went" and variations thereof, let my son be cherished, please someone get this man some serotonin, shameless fluff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:01:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,169</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24565678</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/gay_thot_writing/pseuds/gay_thot_writing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is how it goes: Martin Blackwood is a waystation; broken people come to him, he takes care of them until they're better, and they leave. He tries to numb himself to it, taking in wounded animals so they, too, can leave when they're better. Immersion therapy, he thinks of it as.</p><p>He tries to convince himself things are better this way.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Martin Blackwood &amp; Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood &amp; Sasha James, Martin Blackwood &amp; Sasha James &amp; Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood &amp; Sasha James &amp; Tim Stoker &amp; Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood &amp; Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, i just think theyre friends! Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>archives shuffle [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1772722</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>150</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>you're so pretty (oh, i want to be pretty)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>title from Carry Me by The Original Crooks and Nannies. sequel to i'm sure you know (we were raised as mannequins). if you don't read that one, most of this won't make sense, but you can still take it as a character study if you really squint.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Martin Blackwood is used to taking care of people.</p><p>He's been doing it for his mother since he was young, since his father left. He's done it for friends and boyfriends. He'd like to think he's aware of his place in their lives, after this long. </p><p>This is how it goes: Martin Blackwood is a waystation; broken people come to him, he takes care of them until they're better, and they leave. He tries to numb himself to it, taking in wounded animals so they, too, can leave when they're better. Immersion therapy, he thinks of it as.</p><p>He tries to convince himself things are better this way.</p><p>But he isn't used to... this. This weird, in-between... thing. He's had people try to stick around before, try to stay by his side after they're better. </p><p>This is how it goes: they're careful around him, like he's going to be angry with them for, what, staying? For outgrowing him? He had gotten used to that, too, and tried to support them as best he could through that stage, reassuring them that he wasn't mad. They all left eventually, but the ones that tried to stick around and just got sick of him after a while hurt the most.</p><p>But whatever was happening now was nothing like that. When he'd been pulled out of the table, he was fully prepared for things to be weird, for him to need to take care of his coworkers until things were normal again, for them to be awkward around him or just start avoiding him. What had happened instead confused him. It was weird in a way he hadn't anticipated, hadn't prepared for emotionally. He didn't think it was necessarily a bad thing, just weird and unexpected. Which, honestly, he should have expected, based on the everything about his life since starting at the Institute. </p><p>This is how it went:</p><p>Tim reacted out, when Martin was saved. He apologized a million times a day, hugged Martin nearly as many. When Martin got up to offer everyone tea, Tim walked with him, hung out with him in the kitchen as he made the tea. Thanked him for every favor, no matter how small. It was confusing. Martin was the caretaker, not the one who needed care! He was grateful for it, but confused nevertheless. A week after he got back, Tim told him about his brother. In this new light, his behavior made much more sense. They had spent the rest of the day just sitting in the break room, spending time together. Processing everything that had happened. Just... being in the moment. Safe, warm, no eldritch horrors coming after them for the moment. Happy.</p><p>This is how it went:</p><p>Sasha also reacted out, somewhat, though much less than Tim had. She kept an eye on Martin, much as he insisted he was fine. She only had him do follow up for false statements, or else statements that only needed digital or over the phone follow up. She never sent him to Artifact Storage, always finding someone else to get what she needed or else getting it herself. Tim had moved out of the Archives, getting a new place that was close enough to work that his commute was no trouble, so the two of them organized Archives staff sleepovers. She left her office door open more. She also did physical contact more in general, tapping Martin gently on the shoulder or elbow when she needed to maneuver around him, slinging an arm around his shoulders when she was looking over his screen, leaning into his side when she was talking to him, Tim, and Jon all at once. It was odd, but comforting anyways. Grounding, in a way.</p><p>This is how it went:</p><p>Jon reacted in. Way, way in. When the two of them were in a room together, Jon seemed to vibrate with nervous energy. Martin could practically see a hole being worn into the floor under his desk from Jon bouncing his foot. He only ever stilled once or twice, when he had awkwardly asked Martin if he could have a hug. Even then, before and after the hug he was fidgetier and quieter than normal. This, Martin knew how to deal with. He brought Jon herbal teas, spoke to him gently, like one would coax a frightened animal out of hiding. More subtly than that, of course; he feared that if he was too obviously trying to take care of Jon, it would scare him off, make him seem patronizing or condescending. However, this only served to make Jon more anxious, which made Martin feel worse, which made him dote on all his coworkers more, which made Jon more anxious. It was an endless feedback loop of horrible coping mechanisms, and Tim and Sasha were clearly fed up with it. None of their irritation was directed at Martin, which, for some reason, hurt more. </p><p>They didn't even seem to be angry! They just looked increasingly annoyed with Jon, whispering with him or sending pointed looks his way when they thought Martin wasn't looking. Eventually, at one of the Archives staff sleepovers, Tim got them all to play truth or dare. When, after three rounds, Jon eventually picked dare, Tim smiled magnanimously. </p><p>"Go talk to Martin. Actually fucking talk about your feelings. Jesus, you'd think someone as smart as you would have at least one social skill saved up," he prompted. Jon paled.</p><p>This is how it went:</p><p>Jon and Martin went into Tim's spare bedroom. It seemed like Jon's anxiety was spreading, as Martin couldn't get his right hand to stay still. He tapped a pattern on his leg as Jon gestured for him to sit. The bed dipped under him, just a bit too soft to support him properly. Jon shook out his arms like he was trying to get feeling back into them after they'd fallen asleep.</p><p>"Okay, so. I'm sorry, first of all. I'm sorry that I've been distant and weird and everything since you came back. There are a lot of reasons, but the gist of it is that I was uncomfortable around your impostor, and I was afraid that my feelings about him would change how I would act around you. Still, it was inappropriate and... rude. For me to be so cold to you. For that, I apologize. You deserve better. I am going to do my best to be kinder to you. If I am behaving rudely again, please do not hesitate to let me know as much," he finished, breathing deeply in and out once he was done. After a second of fidgeting, he looked up to meet Martin's eyes. </p><p>Martin smiled.</p><p>This is how it went:</p><p>Martin accepted his apology. Of course he did. The two of them talked for a while longer, and, while Jon didn't explain why he felt the way he did about the false Martin, he did apologize a few more times. When they entered the main room again, Sasha and Tim looked up expectantly. They looked slightly disappointed at something, but the fact that the tension in the air had thinned was a relief to all of them. </p><p>That breaking of tension was what they all needed. Sasha let up on her intense protectiveness somewhat, letting Martin do field work once more, though she always sent him with a partner. Jon was who he was paired with, most of the time, but he also went on follow up with Tim sometimes. Sasha herself would even join him every so often. Tim stopped mothering him as much, and, though the apologies were still offered, it was much less frequent. Jon had the starkest difference, going from awkward and tense to quietly steady so quickly Martin nearly got whiplash. When they went on follow up together, they spent the transit time talking and laughing, bonding in a way they hadn't even before Martin's... replacement. </p><p>This is how it went: </p><p>It was a regular Tuesday. Sasha had sent Martin and Jon on follow up for a statement three hours' drive away, and they had left after lunch. They decided to stay the night in a nearby hotel for efficiency's sake, not wanting to drive back in the pitch dark. They had booked a room with no issue, but the woman at the front desk must have assumed they were a couple, because when they got up to the room, there was only one bed. </p><p>They both stood in the doorway in shock for a moment before Martin nodded. "Right, then. I'll take the couch. Sleep tight, Jon!" he said, smiling softly before taking his bag into the bathroom to change into his pajamas. He had intentionally gone before Jon could argue with him, but when he got back into the main part of the room, Jon was sitting on the couch stubbornly.</p><p>"I'm not letting you not take the bed, Martin," he started before Martin could say anything. "You're my coworker and my friend and I care about you too much to let you throw your back out sleeping on a couch." Martin blinked, surprised but not reacting fully until he'd processed. Jon cared about him enough to spend the night on a shitty hotel couch? </p><p>"Well, I'm not letting you take the couch either, Jon. You have enough spinal damage as it is. Don't try to argue with me on this. Take the bed, Jon," he said. He would have picked Jon up, put him off the couch, and sat down, because then Jon wouldn't be able to move him and would <em>have</em> to take the bed, but he didn't like reminding his coworkers how strong he could be. He didn't want them to ever be scared of him. But still, he stared Jon down, unimpressed, as he remained stubbornly on the couch.</p><p>Suddenly, Jon straightened. "Well. How about we. How about we just split the bed?" he asked awkwardly. He wouldn't meet Martin's eyes, which was for the best, because Martin was quickly turning beet red. Months in a table-prison had done nothing to dull his feelings for Jon; if anything, it had simply intensified how he felt when he got back. Martin turned the idea over in his mind. It was probably the only way he would get Jon to take the bed, and he could just stay up and switch to the couch if necessary. Sleeping facing away from Jon might keep him from accidentally cuddling him in his sleep, which was ideal. He didn't want to make Jon uncomfortable, after all. After a second of Jon fidgeting as he waited for an answer, Martin shrugged.</p><p>"Sure. If, if you're okay with it, that is," he responded. Jon nodded, apparently satisfied, and hopped off the couch. He headed to the bathroom to change into his pajamas as well, and Martin set his bag down by his shoes. He settled on one side of the bed, trying to make a small distance between the two pillows. He lied down, rolling to face away from the bathroom. When Jon emerged, Martin heard the quiet thump of him setting his bag down before he felt the other side of the bed dip. He tried to focus on his breathing, writing a poem in his head to keep himself up. When he heard Jon's breathing even out, he sighed, relieved. </p><p>Then he felt Jon roll slightly in his sleep, grabbing hold of Martin's arm and drawing it close, like a teddy bear. Martin froze, his plan of taking the couch once Jon was asleep an impossibility now. He focused once more on his breathing, trying to slow down his racing heart. By the time he found it in himself to try to stay awake, his consciousness was already fading at the edges.</p><p>This is how it went:</p><p>Martin was facing the windows when he fell asleep. When he woke up, he was not facing the windows. He knew that this was a problem as he slowly forced his eyes open, but then he looked around and saw Jon resting on his chest, an arm thrown across him like Jon had been trying to hug him as they slept. Jon looked better-rested than he had in ages, the dark circles under his eyes faded and softened by the sunlight through the window. Martin tried, ever-so-carefully, to work his way out from under Jon without waking him, but as he began to wiggle out of Jon's arms, his coworker- his friend- his crush tightened his grip on him and mumbled something that sounded a great deal like his name.</p><p>Martin froze as Jon opened his eyes, blinking blearily. When he realized his position, he pulled back, stammering apologies as his face turned scarlet. Martin laughed it off and accepted his apology. But later, much, much later, the two of them would talk about it with fond recollection as the moment that they both realized that something other than friendship could be possible.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>*writes a shuffleverse martin character study but then makes it fluffy because my boy deserves happiness and love* anyways,</p></blockquote></div></div>
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